Common Q & A for Birthparents

Does adoption cost anything?

No. All services to an expectant parent considering adoption are free. All services we provide are completely confidential. These services include counseling for developing a parenting plan, support before and after the birth of your baby, referral to community agencies that can assist you, informing you of your rights and responsibilities, and providing you with accurate information about adoption.

Should you feel confident that an adoption plan is right for you and your baby, we will help you pick a family, design an adoption plan that fits your needs, provide all legal services, help you create a "Memory Book" for you and your baby, and remain available for post adoption support.

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Can I Get Money Or Gifts For Making An Adoption Plan?

An expectant mother is allowed to get monetary help from pre-adoptive parents when she is making an adoption plan, however, there are very strict regulations on what is legal.

Acceptable monetary gifts to expectant parents making an adoption plan (for the State of Wisconsin)

• Pre and post adoptive counseling for an expectant/birthmother or alleged birthfather.
• Maternity clothes for the mother (up to $300).
• Local transportation expenses for the expectant parent(s) related to the pregnancy and adoption.
• Adoption agency services.
• Medical and hospital care of the mother and child related to the birth and pregnancy. (This does not include lost wages or living expenses of the mother.)
• Medical and hospital care received by the child.
• Legal services of the parent(s) or child in connection with the adoption.
• Expectant mother's living expenses up to $5,000, if necessary to protect the health and welfare of the mother or child.
• Birthing classes.
• Foster care costs if adoption is the parenting plan enacted by the parents.
• Formula, diapers, and other reasonable baby expenses if adoption is the parenting plan, and the new mother is caring for the child until relinquishment.
• Gift to the new mother in an amount no greater than $100.
• Any money or gift given to the expectant parent(s) must be recorded, and should go through a third party, such as Adoption Services.

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Do I get to pick the family for my child?

Yes! Adoption Services encourages all of their expectant mothers to carefully review and select a family that matches exactly what you are looking for. You will be able to learn about our waiting couples by paging through colorful, detailed profiles (created by the couple themselves). These profiles tell you about their relationship, family, childhood, home, careers, hobbies, and what they hope to offer a child some day.

All of our waiting couples have been studied to determine what type of home they can provide a child. They all meet state regulations set for adoptive parents, as well as agency regulations. All of our couples have been married for more than two years, and they have all experienced infertility.

You can contact us to see some of the profiles, or you can visit the waiting couples section. If there is a couple you are interested in, just contact us.

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What is TPR?

Termination of Parental Rights. This is a court hearing in which you state in front of a Judge your request to terminate your parental rights to your child in order to place him/her for adoption. This hearing is very important. Once you have had your TPR hearing and the courts have accepted your relinquishment, you no longer have any legal rights to your child.

A woman who wants to place her child for adoption needs to sign legal papers petitioning the State to terminate her parental rights. At this point, the courts will schedule a hearing. This hearing cannot be any later than 30 days after the legal papers have been filed with the court. Within these 30 days, or before the court hearing, a mother continues to hold all legal rights to her child.

This time period is very important for a prospective birthmother; it allows her time to review all her options and make sure that an adoption plan is the right choice for her and her baby. During this time, you have the choice of where your child will stay. Adoption Services can provide short-term pre-adoptive care for your child, or you have the option of placing your baby directly with the perspective adoptive parents. During the time before your TPR hearing, since you are still legally the mother, you may see your baby at anytime when they are in pre-adoptive care. If you are uncomfortable placing your baby in short-term pre-adoptive care (either with Adoption Services or the perspective adoptive parents), you may keep the baby with you and care for him/her until the TPR hearing.

At the TPR hearing, there is a Guardian ad Litem (GAL), who is an attorney representing the needs of the child being placed for adoption. If a mother is under 18, she will also have a GAL to represent her. There will also be a presiding Judge (who makes the final decision), and the adoption social worker you have been working with. Your family, or any support persons you would like, may also be allowed in the courtroom.

It is the Judges responsibility to make sure that the birthparents realize the finality of their decision to terminate their parental rights. Most Judges will ask a mother to state in her own words what termination means, and why she has chosen to place her child for adoption. At the end of the hearing, the Judge will make a decision on whether he/she will accept the petition to terminate the parents' rights.

Many birthmothers have said that the TPR hearing was the most difficult part of their adoption experience. The Judge asks you many personal questions, and it takes a lot of courage to make it through this part of the process. Unfortunately, adoption is a legal process and this hearing has to be done. At Adoption Services we strive to prepare all of our birthparents for the TPR experience, to ensure they will know what to expect.

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What about the Birthfather? What rights does he have?

The father of your child does have rights, and if you are thinking about an adoption plan for your baby, he cannot be left out of the decision. A child can only be eligible for adoption if both of his/her parents have relinquished their parental rights. A father has every legal right to parent his child.

Because of this right, he must sign the same petitions as you have, stating that he would like to terminate his parental rights. This can be done in a couple of different ways. The alleged father can voluntarily sign the petitions (admitting paternity) and allow the adoption plan to proceed. If the alleged father is unsure of his paternity, but is willing to allow the child to be adopted, he can sign a different petition stating that he does not admit paternity, but acknowledges the possibility and accepts the placement of the child through adoption. Paternity testing does not have to be done if you are making an adoption plan. With either one of these petitions signed, the father is not required to be present at the actual TPR hearing. However, if he is under 18, there will be a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) present to represent him.

If the father of the child is unknown, the state requires a public legal notice to be published in the local newspaper where conception took place, or the town of the last known address of the father. This notice is to advise the father to come forward, so he can sign the necessary papers. If no father comes forward, the State of Wisconsin has the legal authority to terminate his rights for him.

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What If Only One Of Us Wants To Terminate Our Rights?

The state will not terminate the rights of only one parent. If a mother and father do not agree on termination, a hearing would be made to determine custody and child support matters. If a mother is certain of her inability to parent appropriately at this time, but the father refuses to allow adoption, the mother has the right to refuse custody of the child, giving him full custody. If the mother is positive adoption is the best thing for her child, and the father will not allow termination of parental rights, she can petition to have his rights involuntarily terminated. Rarely do we have cases that go to this extreme, but if you need further information on this type of situation, please Contact Us.

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Can I Change My Mind?

You can decide to parent your child any time before the TPR hearing. Generally speaking, once you have had the TPR hearing, and the Judge has granted relinquishment, you cannot change your mind and have your baby returned to you. The only exception to this is when a legal error has taken place.

A birthparent has 30 days to return to court after the TPR hearing has taken place to request a new hearing due to legal error. A new hearing is only allowed if there is evidence that proves a legal error has taken place during the planning of the adoption placement. An example of a legal error would be if a mother or father were inadvertently bribed to place her child for adoption. These are very serious accusations. If a birthparent feels that this type of legal error has happened to them, they must have concrete evidence to support their suspicions.

If a birthparent simply feels that they didn't know what they were doing when they terminated their parental rights, it may also be considered a legal error. (Again, this must occur no later than 30 days after the TPR hearing; any date past those 30 days is null and void.) However, this misunderstanding would be very difficult to prove to any Judge. There are an endless number of papers that a birthparent signs before the TPR hearing that states their knowledge of their legal action by terminating their parental rights. In addition to this, there is a record of your statements at the TPR hearing, stating (often in your own words) that you understand exactly what you are doing.

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Will My Child Have Access To Information About Me?

After your TPR hearing, you have the option of signing an affidavit giving the state your permission to release information to your child when they are old enough to receive it. An adopted child (in the State of Wisconsin ) may have access to the medical information of their birthfamily (which you have provided) when they turn 18. When the child turns 21, they may have full identifying information of the birthparents that were originally on their birth certificate. Again, this is only if you have signed the affidavit allowing this and filed the forms. Adoption Services will be sure to help you with this process and file the papers for you.

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Can I Ever Find My Child?

Generally speaking, you might be able to find a child you placed for adoption years ago. There are many different ways you can search for a child you placed for adoption. Since adoption is changing rapidly, more and more people are open to finding one another (if not starting out in an open adoption). Returning to the agency to ask questions will help you begin the search process, and they will be able to provide you with information on searching. You can also contact the Wisconsin Adoption Search Program at 608-267-3909; e-mail: dcfweb@wisconsin.gov., website: http://dcf.wisconsin.gov/children/adoption/ADSEARCH.HTM

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All legal information is for the State of Wisconsin ONLY.